Saturday, April 07, 2007

Golf? Today? Are You Sure?

Today is my friend's 34th birthday and we planned a few weeks ago to get in a round of golf. With the exception of our tennis matches, it had been a while since the two of us had spent any time together without our wives and kids around. This was going to be great! A whole day of golfing starting out with breakfast tacos at Maudie's Tex-Mex Heaven! It doesn't get much better than that.

Last night we were discussing the weather outlook for our day's events and his reply was, "It's going to rain?"

Me: "Yep. All day they say. 100% chance. Do you still want to golf?"

Birthday Boy: "Hell yes! As long as there is no lightning we should be able to tee off. I'm in!"

Me: "Okay. I'm not scared to play golf in the rain."

So after I took his money playing Texas Hold'em poker (morning breakfast taco wager), we called it an early night (Baby Girl did, actually), and headed home for a good night's sleep before our golf day.

At 8:30 this morning I called his house to make sure he still wanted to play. It was 40 degrees and raining steadily, but not hard. His wife answered the phone and said he was already on his way to pick me up after he located the giant golf umbrella in their garage. He said it might be a miserable round of golf but we would have fun!

Great! I'm happy to know the mere presence of my company is enough to make a miserable, cold, and rainy day of golf fun. I couldn't help but think to myself how much more fun we would have if he just picked up those breakfast tacos on the way to my house while I loaded up Tiger Woods PGA Tour on the computer. We could sit in the warm and dry shelter of the house, slurping hot coffee, stuffing ourselves with spicy breakfast tacos - all while making incredibly long putts, trading high-fives, and watching The Masters tournament. A perfect day in many men's books.

Instead we decided to brave the elements and make the trip south of Austin to the golf course. We still arrived early after devouring our tacos and making a few wrong turns. There were three other cars in the parking lot. I thought for sure they belonged to the pro shop guy, snack bar attendant, and groundskeeper - so I got out and ran in to see if the course was open. It was! The cars in the lot actually belonged to a threesome that had just finished the front nine and were warming up/drying off in the clubhouse getting ready to head out for the back nine. I thought, if they can do it so can we! The pro shop guy informed me that there were no rain checks for today. Translation: No refunds when you wuss out and come speeding back in your golf cart. No problem. We were men and could handle the conditions!

The first hole was fine. We both put our balls on the right side of the fairway rough with a good line for the green. Five shots later and we were on our way to #2. The second hole was a little more challenging being a par 5 and uphill with a water hazard. I think I scored a 9 on that hole. He lucked out with a 7. Hole #3 was decent and we both double bogeyed it with a 6. At this point our hands were freezing and turning red. His face looked like the shiny side of a freshly washed Red Delicious apple. Mine surely looked the same, if not more delicious.

Hole #4 was a blessing as it was our first par 3 of the day! My first tee shot went WAY left out of bounds. Having not used a mulligan yet I thought this was the best time to do so. Who knows if I would get another chance! My second tee shot was short of the green but went straight. His tee shot also landed short, but we were both happy nonetheless. I chipped up on the green and left myself about a 25 foot put for par. My hands and body were so cold I just ran up and putted the ball to get it over with. The greens were soaked and rolling slow. The ball was headed right for the cup but it was certainly not going to make it all the way. I stood and watched as kept going...and going...and going....plunk! PAR!

We high-fived that incredibly long put and trudged on! We skipped our tee shots on the next two holes and hit from the 150 yard markers in the middle of the fairway. The almost frozen rain pelted us through the front of the golf cart, soaking our clothes. I could hardly bend the fingers on my non-gloved hand and our butts were soaking wet from the seat. We finally decided that we were not the men we thought we were and screamed like babies while speeding back to the clubhouse to warm up (throw in the cold, wet towel).

The wusses will attempt a golf outing another day.


Cosmostool said...

I truly cannot believe what a pansy you are. If u lived up here in the mitten, u would be yelling to the ice god's "is that all u got mofo's?" as you drain another 75 foot putt. Man up!

Daddy-O said...

Did you play on Saturday in Michigan? I didn't think so, pansy!